You're doing everything right and still feel like shit

Some of what your body needs is universal, and some of it is unique to you, so stop letting the wellness space confuse you

I was onboarding one of my new clients the other day and after countless onboarding sessions, something new comes through every time. I don’t have a script of what I teach specifically, I just talk through visuals and whatever comes through, comes through.

Something I said to this client felt like it needed to be shared. And I wish someone had said this to me about a decade and a hundred symptoms ago, so I want to share it with you.

This client had come to me the way that most do with symptoms, multiple diagnoses, functional medicine protocols hadn’t worked for her after years of attempts, feeling defeated, overwhelmed, a running list of everything that was wrong and needed fixing, every contradictory thing on the internet that she had read, and she was ready to do anything to get back to her normal self and feel good again.

This list of everything she’d read and learned, even sharing links to studies with me (I’m not going to share her list but I’ll keep this more general to what I hear across the board from clients), was endless. And probably a lot of the same that you’ve seen too — eat more protein, no wait, fast until noon. Cold plunge, but wait that spikes your cortisol, and cortisol is bad. Seed oils are poison, or maybe seed oils are fine, or is it moderation? Have you tried carnivore or paleo? Did you remember to lower your cortisol? (as if its a dial we all just forgot to turn to the right place). Peptides are made in China and you absolutely shouldn’t take them, but wait this one girl said peptides helped her lose 20 pounds.

Like… SIGH. Right? This is purely exhausting.

The internet and the contradiction is genuinely enough to make an intelligent and highly capable person feel like they are losing their mind.

So here’s what I told her, and what I want you to know too, and maybe it’ll reorganize your brain in a way you didn’t know you needed.

Our health, our bodies, and what it takes to get our body to a place of true homeostasis (aka balance) — two things are true at the same time and I swear that every post or reel out there comes from people only ever trying to sell you one of them.

The wellness influencer will sell you on everything she did that worked for her and claim it as fact (like peptides got rid of all her gut issues). The health expert/doctor/etc. will share something they were taught in school and also claim it as fact (like “everyone needs to take creatine and glutathione” — don’t get me started).

There are countless general wellness blanket statements parroted around and to me, this can be so harmful if you don’t know any different and just blindly follow the information (or assume a study or two validates the “fact”).

Everyone is unique AND everyone is a human being with a body that was designed in a very specific way. And the body you have was created perfectly, with the most amazing divine intelligence of how to function optimally, and heal itself.

Which leads me to the concept I shared with my client. There are two points I want to make here.

Point #1

There are things every single human body needs because of the way the body is designed. Our bodies may all look slightly different, but you know we all have intestines, a brain, a heart, 2 eyeballs, a mouth, etc. the biology is the same (not speaking to the exceptions to the rule here). And because we all have these same pieces and parts and systems and overall design, there are non-negotiables that it requires. They are universal, as true for you as they are for your neighbor and your most annoying coworker.

The wellness world has completely buried these under biohacks and 87 step morning routines, and $90 powders until the plain old basics have started to feel too simple to possibly be the answer, because there are all these other extravagant options being put in front of us. And it just seems to have gotten way too confusing and exhausting for most people.

But I’m here to tell you that these concepts are the entire foundation for getting your body to where you want it to be, and they are not too simple at all.

Point #2

And then, at the same time, there are things that are completely, specifically, only yours. The way your particular body operates, what it needs more of and less of, what actually regulates you versus what completely wrecks you. You cannot google these things, you cannot get them from a podcast, or phone a friend to see what she did or follow the same copy/paste protocol her practitioner gave her. I mean… you technically could, but I guarantee the answer won’t be what you actually need.

All of these avenues in this point have different variables; our lives, history, trauma, experiences, and birth charts. And most of the time you can’t see them in yourself either because we all have blind spots.

How it comes together

So I think about all of this in layers. The foundational layer is the universal stuff, which 100% of people I’ve worked with (women and men) are missing nearly 80%+ of the pieces to the puzzle (yes, even the very health conscious ones who swear they are doing everything right, especially them).

Nutrition, proper movement, circadian principles, digestion, mineral ratios, connection to the body, your inner world — this is a list for starters, not the whole kit and caboodle, but a lot of it. If any of these are missing or not solid, no amount of fancy personalization or unicorn “protocols” are going to help you. To use one of my house metaphors, it’s like trying to paint the walls of the house before the drywall is up and all you have are the studs. It ain’t gonna work.

Once we have integrated the foundational layers, then come the unique pieces to your puzzle and this is where your birth chart comes in, alongside your medical history, your lifestyle, your constitution, your patterns, the identities you’ve created, all of the things that make you, you.

A birth chart is not “woo woo” and it is also not a crutch. We don’t use it to start and only focus on that, or else we miss a whole heck of a lot. We need to use it strategically and apply it in layers with the foundations — it is an art and a science. It’s essentially your operating manual that no one printed out and handed to you at birth, or ever (until you work with me). This is where we can be precise and treat you like the unicorn that you are — again, after we work on the basics. Then it will finally click that it wasn’t always just about not having enough information or willpower or discipline (sigh).

When we apply the specific areas and placements to your chart to create your lifestyle and routines and focus on the areas of your body that your chart (and 100% of the time your body tell us, your chart just confirms it) is telling us to, you will feel relief without a doubt. You can stop comparing routines with your friends, or the influencer, or the biohacker you follow. You can stop shaming yourself, judging yourself, criticizing yourself, or white knuckling through a routine or wellness practices that just simply don’t work for you or you don’t need.

For over ten years, being the health obsessed 6th house Virgo Sun + Jupiter that I am, I did this completely backwards. I’d obsess over the advanced, optimized, individual stuff, the things that were so expensive and advertised as the cure all, and acted as if I was a unicorn that no one could seem to figure out — wrong. All the while my foundations, the basic stuff that my human body in the simplest form needs, were a dumpster fire. Or just non-existent. Or I thought I had enough info from a couple Huberman podcasts (I hope y’all don’t still listen to him).

Then maybe I thought I got the basics down for a month, but then I’d quit because they felt too simple to be the real answer, or I’d just self-sabotage and stop because I didn’t see results overnight like society had conditioned me like I was supposed to.

Spoiler alert: the basics were the real answer. They are almost always the answer.

Connecting both points

Learning to hold the contradiction here and both points/categories/concepts at once AND together is what finally let me let go of the story that my body was the problem. Because my body was NeVeR the problem, it was screaming at me but I wasn’t listening and it just kept getting louder.

If you take one thing from me today, let it be this:

Get so brutally honesty with yourself about what you’ve been ignoring or putting off. Be so serious about the basics before you sign up for one more course, group program, or drop thousands on lab work or seeing a naturopath or a conventional medicine doctor that separates the body into pieces and parts.

Every single person that I’ve ever worked with, 100% of the time, needed the basics refined and implemented.

I truly cannot repeat or stress that enough.

We cannot do anything further if these are not in place. It literally makes no sense to have you drop $500 on a gut test if you haven’t seen the sun before 7am in years. Or to spend $800 on a 14 supplement “gut healing” protocol if you can’t get to sleep before 10pm (p.s. please don’t ever actually do this). Or dosing methylene blue while you’re doom scrolling in bed until 11pm. I think you get the point.

All this to say, I know the wellness space is insanity right now. Nothing makes sense and it can be so exhausting because every post contradicts the other. But I’m telling you that is IS possible to feel better, it IS possible to resolve the bloating, acne, weight gain, headaches, fatigue, sleep issues, your hair falling out, or even any of the 3-4 letter acronym diagnoses… and you do not need to live miserably. You can feel so incredibly good in your body and I truly want you to know that it’s possible.

So if you want help finding what you need, whether it’s the universal pieces you’ve been overlooking or the deeply specific ones you can’t see on your own, I got you.

We can look at this in a single session if you want a simple and low cost way to start, or we can go into deeper 1:1 work if you want to look at the whole kit and caboodle together.

I will support anyone that needs it with a one time consult, but I truly do not take everyone in for my 1:1 private client work. I always have the free option of a Clarity Call to make sure it’s a fit — for both of us.

I’m offering 50% off one time consults for the month of July. I can only make room for 3 spots and you must book by June 30th, so grab yours while they are open!

Use code SUNLIGHT to book with the link below

If you are feeling lost, not like yourself, struggling with digestive issues, skin issues, sleep, energy, headaches, any of the diagnoses (ADHD, PCOS, PMDD, etc.), read the page linked below on my Substack to learn more about how I work and see what my clients have shared.

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The information provided in this post is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended to diagnose, treat, or cure any medical condition. I am not a licensed medical doctor. Always consult with your physician or qualified healthcare provider before making any changes to your health routine.